Maybe you know someone like Eleanor (not her real name).
She started at Weight Watchers when she was 14 (with her Mom). Since then she has tried 17 other programs and approaches. She is a veritable expert on weight loss. And she has lost weight! But today, she is back to nearly her highest weight ever.
She has a kettle ball and a recumbent bike and she's joined so many gyms and signed up for so many classes she should look like the goddess of Nike.
But she doesn’t.
And then there are the supplements and the visualizations and the mind maps. She watches the body makeover shows and follows 5 different Keto and diet and lifestyle blogs. Eleanor wonders why nothing seems to work for her.
We all know this conundrum – we know what we need to do – like Eleanor, we’ve taken the courses, read the books and bought the gear. We even started a journal.
But, here we are – eating popcorn in the back of a deep dark cave of defeat.
WHAT IS IT that keeps Eleanor (and us) from moving toward the life we really want? You know the one – the one with energy and money AND six-pack abs.
WHY do we stay in ‘almost ready’ mode or ‘I tried (for a day or a week) but it didn’t work? In other words: Why do we stay put?
Humans are hardwired to avoid change. As soon as something new comes into our awareness, our instinct is to move away. Our survival brain says, ‘Danger! Danger! ’’ This evolutionary default setting tells us (loud and clear) “Stay right where you are! Better the devil you know”.
Fear keeps us stuck in the familiar - it might not be the healthiest place to be, but at least we know it.
Avoiding change is an skill set.
We,(yes I am talking about you) avoidance experts might call avoidance by other (more acceptable) names, like: Perfectionism.
You know - when we don’t stick ‘perfectly’ to the plan so now the whole day, aw heck, the whole week is a write –off ! And we go back to the (familiar) way we were doing it before with a plan to do it (perfectly) on Monday.
And then there is waiting, also called Procrastination.
We’re absolutely committed! We have just a few (dozen) things to make sure we have in place before we start. So, we keep researching, organizing, saving, planning. And never leave the starting block…
Perfectionism & Procrastination – flip sides of staying stuck
How to say NO to the Devil you know!
Is it time to switch off those default settings of avoidance and fear of failure that evolution gave us?
Time to recognize the beliefs that hamstring your forward momentum?
And, is it time to dust off the tools that ease the process of change?
You can build a Springboard for Change!
Here's what to do:
See Your Fear and Name it!
It’s OK to admit that changing things up is scary and that you’re tired and afraid of failing (again). Call out that procrastination or perfectionism that's holding you in AVOID Mode.
Knowing how we’re stuck is the first step to getting unstuck!
Lean toward…..Reach out…..Jump!
Take imperfect action. Take even a tiny step. Do as much as you can.
Do it TODAY.
Make it Real!
Tell someone. At the very least, write it down.
Reach out for support that has accountability built in– hire a coach, take a meditation class, form a group. Sign up!
Know you will have to start again. Replace comparison with compassion and keep coming back to start over, again and again.
The language the Devil you know hears? It's you Taking Action!